The Death of Cupid: Long Live Love
If ever there were a symbol for true love, the symbol would be Cupid.
And just who is this Cupid? Is he an angel? A devil in disguise?
Certainly he is adorable as only a baby can be. Plump, squeezable,
charming and wonderfully innocent-except for that bow and arrow in his
But don't let that baby face fool you. Behind Cupid's comely eyes lies
all the formidable power one would expect from a veritable god, which
exactly what Cupid is. Cupid is none other than the son of Mercury,
god of commerce, and Venus, goddess of love. Cupid himself is the god
Cupid is a playful god who likes to scamper about shooting tender
golden-tipped arrows. His arrows gracefully fly through the air
with them the promise of eternal happiness. Once struck, the objects
of Cupid's aim are overcome by a desire so passionate, and a love so
fiery, that they can never be extinguished. No one in the world could
be more fortunate than two people shot through the heart with Cupid's
bliss that awaits those who have been so blessed by the god of love is
beyond what anyone could ever dream of.
And what does the future hold for this love struck couple? Certainly
there will be long periods of staring dreamily into one another's
eyes. They will be surrounded by an almost mystical aura-a
glow-whenever they are together. They will be the best of friends and
the best of lovers.
They will always be supportive and draw hope, courage and inspiration
from one another. Their shared existence will be, in a word, perfect:
endlessly fulfilling, impassioned and happy beyond belief.
Alas, perfection is an illusion, and Cupid is a myth (and a very
stubborn myth at that). The ancient gods have long been relegated to
the dustbins of history, yet this vision of idyllic love is something
that many secretly-and not so secretly-still search for. There is a
part of our culture's psyche that refuses to let go of the mythical
vision of love that Cupid symbolizes. So we continue to honor it-in
film, art and music; on greeting cards; and in hundreds of romance
novels that sell millions of copies every year. So the myth goes on.
At one time or another we have all dreamt of being a victim of Cupid's
arrow, but that's a problem-because as we know, there is no Cupid and
there are no potion-tipped enchanted arrows.
But if there is no Cupid, what is there? There is still the very real
power of love, even without Cupid; there is the possibility for a
deeply fulfilling married life; for a life filled with passion and
intimacy. And in real life, these can be achieved if only we would
finally put Cupid to rest.
The truth is that Cupid should be seen as Public Enemy Number One.
Rather than embracing him, it's time we turned on him. Love, dating,
marriage, romance and intimacy are vital parts of real people's lives
in the real world. To stand a chance of experiencing all we want in
need to exorcise our myths and fantasies and replace them with
real-world wisdom-wisdom that refuses to deny the heart its dreams and
brings the real and the ideal together-which is what this book is all
The Death of Cupid is about reclaiming some of life's most essential
wisdom. It's about how a light from the past can illuminate our present
and our future.
The wisdom this book seeks to reclaim and share flows from ancient
Jewish texts and perspectives on many of life's core issues-and these
are timeless. The issues we will discuss include pain and pleasure,
fulfillment and emptiness, the need for introspection, life goals and
the forging of character. Of course they also include love, dating,
physical intimacy, romance and marriage.
The Power of Definitions
"The beginning of wisdom is the
definition of terms."
Each of the four sections in The Death of Cupid begins with a
definition, because sound, workable definitions are essential to
grasping and applying wisdom to our daily lives. Let's look at
friendship as an example. If two people have different definitions of
friendship and both consider the other to be a friend, then what will
likely transpire is a
confusing and frustrating experience. Each will bring a different set
of expectations and assumptions to the relationship, each will invest
different amounts of emotional energy into the relationship and each
will be caught off guard when reciprocity seems to be out of kilter.
The result will be a friendship gone bitter, and the cause will have
been different views of what a friendship was supposed to be all about
in the first place.
As you travel through the pages of Cupid, you will
encounter radical definitions of love, dating, marriage, romance and
even sex. These definitions will challenge you to rethink some of your
most basic assumptions and will reveal new paths for achieving
dimensions of love, commitment, closeness, passion and intimacy that
might only be the stuff of dreams.
Wisdom: The Eye of the Storm
We are keenly aware that life today is vastly different from what
it was just forty years ago. The decades and eras of history are like
successive seasons of hurricanes: each brings unpredictable winds that
thrash violently about. Each has its own identity, and each leaves its
own legacy. Yet to each storm there is a calm and tranquil eye. Even
amidst the unceasing winds of change, there is an ageless core. This
core is wisdom, a constant and calming presence.
We live in the midst of an unusually violent storm. Marriage and much
that goes with it - love, dating, parenting, sexuality, romance and
commitment-are no longer what they once were. We are often bewildered.
We feel disoriented and stagger about like survivors searching for
familiar shards to link us to a more familiar time.
The storm in America looks like this. Half of all
marriages today end in divorce.! Of those that do endure, how many are
The storm continues. Most people who get divorced look
to marry again. And of those who remarry, most end up divorced again.
Every year a million kids experience divorce. Yet, despite the trends,
people try to remain hopeful. They still date and seek out love and
romance, marriage, family, stability and happiness. They hope that
somehow they will be different.
This then is the place for wisdom-here, amidst a raging
storm born of heartless statistics. Wisdom is hopeful because it has
many a storm, optimistic because it has seen great joy and even
buoyant because it knows that there is life beyond endurance and that
there can even be happiness. In The Death of Cupid we will be sharing
insights that will bolster your hopes for love and help you build a
reality out of your dreams.
This book comes with no promises or guarantees (unlike Cupid's arrow)
because in life, as we know, there are no guarantees. In life there
three ingredients for success: wisdom, effort and prayer. In The Death
of Cupid we will share some of the essential wisdom necessary to
understand, find and achieve a loving, happy, passionate and
fulfilling marriage. It's up to you to provide the effort, which will
need to be considerable. As for the prayer, you may as well begin now,
fully your prayers will soon be answered.